Manage emotions (2) Confrontations!
Manage emotions II The clashes!
Currently, and because of the "fault" of the Process it is said that there are members of the same family that are not spoken, or that there are groups of friends that have been fragmented or that society is divided.
Before making these statements, we should keep in mind:
1- The tensions are not given by the Process or if some carry stellar and others do not, or in case someone places a yellow bow or not. It is our way of living the difference, the risks of change and of feeling stressed those that make us react badly, fear and feel threatened.
2- In other words, how do we live the difference? Can we talk and hear people who think differently from us? What empathy, or ability to put on the skin of the other, do we have? It is not easy to listen with respect to the thinking of the other and even less what he feels and lives.
3- We all live the same, your fears and hopes, anguish and threats we all live by, both the constitutionalists and the independentists. What differentiates people (and I do not speak of what they think) is that some recognize emotions and work them (they can therefore better handle them), and others cover them, hide them or even deny them and therefore they can react with more virulence and aggression. Ask yourself, after hearing a leader you do not like or a friend or relative who does not think like you: how do I live the plurality? Is it that I think that I only have the reason? The annoyance you feel depends not only on the words or on the other's but about how you are and how you live the difference!
4- Your way of doing and feeling has been shaped over the years and many experiences you have experienced. And this happens to you and it happens to me. How to live relationships respecting the other as much as you can respect yourself, and also the other way round? Not impose or undergo, let the other be himself / herself, and also allow yourself to be the one that you are accepting but, that you do not have the truth, you only have your truth and your feeling, that it is already a lot!!!
5- I want to comment that everything that I say does not remove the harshness of those who are in prison, or those who were mistreated on October 1, or those who are threatened. These people may experience a lot of rage, pain and accumulated impotence. And this is figs of another rooster.
6- In the consultation I realize how the Process also helps many people to work their own fears and insecurities, to value what they really want and what blocks them. They can discover new relationships, healthier and more authentic, and above all to go out of doing that often falls asleep and makes us more vulnerable and more individualistic.
Eduard Fonts, psychologist.