First you must love yourself! (1)
In psychological work, you realize that people are not as selfish as we think but what it costs is knowing how to love or rather to love themselves without feeling bad. It does not matter much that a person told me that he should love more to be more free and to be better with those in his house. It was a full-fledged response to what had come after working personal aspects and having changed what he understands to love and love.
To love is, too many times, an act, a will towards others, in favor of others, without thinking of yourself. For religious and psychological influences, it has been understood as giving in exchange for nothing, an incessant, or not expressing what one likes. And in this supposed way of loving, one does not love myself, nor value what I feel, I want or would like to enjoy. Let's say I can see that I love everyone but the first one I do not love is me, precisely that of whom I have to be more careful and more responsible I am. Because we too often love others, we care about others so that, unconsciously, others love us. That is to say, I do not feel sufficiently valuable to love myself, I feel bad if I do it and I hope that being good person and pleasant with the others these will take me into account, they will value what I say and they will not leave me aside.
The problem comes when the others do not react as we expect. Or they are not too aware of us or they are not as much delivered as we would like. Then we feel defrauded or underestimated and we suffer from how others have treated us after how much we have done for them and how much we have sacrificed.
In the midst of this and other situations, we must turn an internal that is neither easy nor possible with just good intentions, or short courses that tell us: estimate yourself more! What else would we want to do but, however much we know the theory or we have repeated it a thousand times we do not believe in us.
There is one saying that does: "the well-understood charity begins by oneself". How hard it is to value our own when we have not provided this education or when we have grown up thinking that ours was not valuable and that only with the esteem and appreciation of others we would be someone. What a lie! The first love must be ours. It is not necessary that we seek out what we have inside, we do not need to be begging what must be the first duty and joy of every person: to be responsible for oneself, to value what you have and to be grateful for what you have received and continue receiving Then you can be more free and live happier ... and within 15 days, we will finish explaining it.
Eduard Fonts, psychologist.