From impotence and anger.
Psycho-social commentary on "homelessness".
In the development of the person there are at least three perspectives: the concrete stage that lives the person (more biological aspect), the personal experience, as is lived in each moment, and the cultural and social circumstances that surround the subject, be it the family, colleagues and friends, the influence of society, etc. In other words we can say that our life is shaped by many circumstances that we do not control or have been able to choose. We have not chosen a family, place and moment of birth, physical and mental capacities, social and economic context. The most essential and nuclear of our lives we received it "for free", if we are allowed expression.
From birth, the person has to deal with many situations of crisis that allow him to go himself as an individual, to learn how to relate and make use of things. But if these crises have not been well-developed, they will remain within the person, in what we call unconscious, as a series of fears, fears and bad habits of behavior that will influence their later behavior, even when it is adult or very large .
One of the most important causes of mental disorientation has to do with the relationship the person has established with loved ones in the first years of life. If they have given their esteem and understanding, if their wishes and desires have been taken care of, and at the same time they have been indicated the limits and conditions of daily life, the person will be able to cope with the new and surprising situations that life provides . But if you have encountered serious family and social inattentives, your mental and physiological maturity will suffer, and social adjustment will be more difficult for you.
People who live in the street and have no roof tend to suffer personality disorders. A behavioral disorder that is manifested mainly in motivation and social maladaptation, which includes neurotic and psychotic aspects. According to the educators and psychologists who work with them, most have had a not very good family environment, with little capacity for tolerance to frustration, and with an unhealthy estimate. Many of them have lived in an atmosphere of violence, rape, sexual promiscuity. Nobody has given them clear guidelines of action, nor does it offer a welcoming and attentive atmosphere. And one asks himself, how can he be a "normal" person in such an unstructured environment?
José is a son of immigrant parents who went to Germany to work, a few years ago. He stayed to live first with a grandmother already and with few resources, who died when he was 10 years old. Then he went with unhealthy little children in an unfavorable neighborhood, and at age 13 he returned to live with his parents. They built a restaurant that was good enough, but the child no longer adapted. Instead, he used this platform to start drinking, and had contacts with people he consumed. Until one day he made a mistake when he was drunk, they grabbed him, and put him temporarily in jail. And here began his ordeal. More drug use, AIDS, confrontations with other inmates, etc ... After a while he could return home, but he did not stop robbing drugs to buy ... and now he lives in our streets, without personal resources and materials, no family, nor sense of living.
Which prognosis has a situation like this? Certainly not very favorable, since the person does not believe in herself, nor in others. He blames himself easily, until he gets despised, and only has the resource to drink and drink, in order to avoid the horror of his life. A sad and sad situation, without clear and convicted guilts, still impresses more and leaves us with no words and a bit astonished. Without words or rather empty words that we use when we do not know how to shut up and let ourselves be affected by the social reality.
The educators of Arrels do not hesitate to answer when asked what we can do with the "luck" of not having to live on the street: "People do not know what the" homeless "lives, but neither does it he wants to know a lot. " It is an ignorance with a certain complicity. It's easier to think that they live on the street because they are bad people or they have searched for it.
Throughout history, and without a doubt also at the present time, people with physical or psychological deficiencies have been blamed, or even ill, as if they were the sole and exclusive managers of what is happening to them. On the other side, those who have a home and we can live with some normality, we tend to believe that our small or large successes, of the size and color they are, are ours and no one else, and we can do what we want. We can easily believe ourselves better or with special rights, and it is hard to identify with the feelings and needs of others. In psychological language, we would talk about narcissism.
How many times has Mary heard herself say "yonqui fucking whore" (some words so hard and difficult to pronounce as her own life!) For the same people who have been harassed sexually by their human and spiritual weakness. It's easier to say that the street does "because he wants" than not knowing what is happening to him and being questioned for the causes of his life. What fault does she have already been raped by members of her family, or did she not have a cozy mother to defend her?
When experiencing deep experiences of misunderstanding it is very difficult to react with personal and social coherence, and not seek refuge in alcohol, drugs or other habits that create addiction. How difficult children have when they find that they who love them are the ones who do their best. How angry for an adult to know how to react when he feels totally rejected and alone!
The Day of the Roofs (November 25) wants us to think about our way of living and of relating to each other and the most abandoned. We can not forget that there are drug addicts that have been recovered thanks to the work of many people and with a great deal of family and social understanding. This is the case of Juan, who could recover because his family had internal and moral strength to recognize in his son a person like others with qualities and defects. A person who, like all of us, needs understanding and affection for not taking a path without exit.
Eduard Fonts, psychologist.