First you must love yourself! (2)
A few days ago they talked about the need to value oneself and to be responsible so that they did not have too many difficulties in relation to each other. When I love you I have the strongest internal strength to face the difficulties, to face the frustrations and not to depend so much on others. We could say that a person who loves it is like a runner who is in the way to face the ups and downs that leave him without having to be so aware of others to move forward. When people do not love us, what we do is look outside what we do not have inside. We seek others, we do things for others, we want them to be happy with us so that they give us an estimate, that they pay attention to us and do not leave us alone because we would feel empty, abandoned or without forces to deal with loneliness and frustrations of each day. Or at least that seems to us and so we live it. Too often we have confused ourselves to love ourselves with selfish being and it is certainly something very different and that we are not always clear about it. We can be clear about the head but internally it seems that we need to think about oneself, look for what I need or give some whim when there are so many needs or things to do not be right and can even make us feel bad, we can make you feel selfish What is selfishness is not to love because then I can not be free enough to love others too much. The selfish need to be constantly seeking valuation, comfort, recognition since he or she does not value what he or she is. What is more, the desire to want to be for others or give and give and deny what one likes or wants, what he does is impoverish the person to make it very dependent on others, since he can not develop the own resources and capacities ... and therefore the person may be stuck in personal devaluation and self-confidence with no confidence. When a loved one is a little bit more capable of coping with his impulses, those ghosts, fears, doubts or internal experiences that hurt him and thus little by little he can tolerate things that are not as he or she would like. We need to love ourselves to get to know each other internally and to be able to grow and relate to each other better, but we also need to work internally and recognize what happens to us to love each other more and feel, better us within our own skin and our own history. In short, it's easy to talk about love, love! It is easy to confuse estimation with selfishness. But it is not easy to accept and tolerate what we do not like, and it is even harder to love and live content with oneself.
Eduard Fonts, psychologist.